When Chuck Norris does push ups, He doesn't push himself up, He pushes the World down.

Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie down.


The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably.


Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves

Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.


If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win.*

Chuck Norris once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"


Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.

Chuck Norris CAN Believe it's not butter.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Chuck Norris once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.

Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.

The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked one of the corners off.

*forever.